Let's Talk Month: How Askable Adults Empower Youth Through Open Conversations

October is Let's Talk Month, a time to celebrate and emphasize the transformative power of open adult and youth communication. Development occurs over the lifespan, and youth need "askable adults" who can be safe spaces to converse with. Being an "askable adult" means being someone youth can approach with questions. About anything! These conversations can include relationships (any type), sexuality, identities, puberty, consent/boundaries, and much more. One big misconception about being an askable adult is that the adult must be a parent. That is not true. As a proud godmother and aunt, I can firmly say that I am a trusted adult that my nieces and nephew can turn to when they have their personal questions and concerns.  

Running a Circle group is an excellent example of how a facilitator can be an “askable adult” and foster adult-youth communication. As I think about the importance of Let's Talk Month, I remember participating in The Council for Boys and Young Men Facilitator Training and providing additional training for the facilitators. I was part of a significant research project in 2018 with Planned Parenthood of Central and Western New York, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), and the Bronfenbrenner Center for Translational Research team at Cornell University that evaluated the Brothers as Allies activity guide, which was created to be a part of the research study. My then-supervisor was able to coordinate an in-person facilitator training where one of our esteemed OCF trainers (thanks, Dan Bland!) trained upwards of forty men from the Western New York area. These participants were vested in providing Circle opportunities and spaces for the young men in their lives. I had a chance to sit in on The Council Facilitator Training. I even had the opportunity to facilitate a teach-back within a group I was assigned to and offered educational and facilitation tips.  

As we delved more into the Brothers as Allies activity guide, it became apparent that most, if not all, of the budding facilitators, were not well-versed in the subject of gender and identities. They could speak from their experiences growing up as boys into men but were unaware of the differences among identities. I broached the concern with my supervisor and suggested a supplemental training session outside of The Council Facilitator Training. She thought it was a great idea and an excellent way for me to display my educator skills. We offered the session to the participants, and several of them attended. At the session, I was able to utilize the Gender Unicorn, which is a great visual tool used in our Mitigating Gender and Racial Bias: Intersectionality and Allyship Training that outlines, summarizes, and differentiates the various identities that make up an individual. We also delved into Black masculinity, which is often a controversial topic that intersects in many areas and systems of oppression. Fortunately, the men were open and willing to receive and offer information without judgment. What started as supplemental training turned into an informative and engaging open group forum that allowed the facilitators to be authentic with their narratives and experiences. The dialogue allowed them to be more prepared for the male-identified youth groups they were assigned to. 

How does One Circle Foundation fit into the theme of 'Let's Talk Month' month? Our mission is to "prepare caring adults with excellent accredited training, user-friendly activity guides, and innovative approaches to facilitate research-based Circles for transformational youth development." For instance, the Western New York facilitators played a crucial role in youth development. They created opportunities for their boys' circles, which they implemented and fostered significant connections between themselves and youth. This is a prime example of how a group of facilitators became askable adults. By preparing for and facilitating The Council for Boys and Young Men, they created positive and lifelong experiences with the youth they encountered. Because of these experiences, I am dedicating myself to creating more curricula within my Director of Curricula role to produce positive learning experiences and trusted relationships for adults and the youth they serve.  

For more information on how to be an askable adult to the youth in your life, please check out the following resources:  

Askable Adults: A Summary of Best Practices (National Sexual Violence Resources Center) 

https://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/2021-02/Askable-Adults-Summary-of-best-practices.pdf 

Be an Askable Adult (Calvert County Health Department (Maryland)) 

https://www.calverthealth.org/personalhealth/healthlyliving/pdf/askadlt.pdf 

Let’s Talk Month (Planned Parenthood) 

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/about-us/newsroom/campaigns/lets-talk-month 

Sex Positive Families 

https://sexpositivefamilies.com/