Creating a Safe Circle Structure with Talking Pieces

The best way to ensure youth feel comfortable to share and grow in their circle is to have a safe, stable, and predictable circle structure that occurs each session. This provides girls/boys with a reliable framework that they can trust and count on to happen each time.

A crucial part of creating this safe, stable circle structure is the talking piece.

The talking piece may be a talking stick, an object from nature such as a beautiful shell or large rock, or another item of value and meaning to the group. 

The talking piece is a physical item that is used whenever the practice of attentive listening is particularly important. During check-in and at certain times during the circle session one person shares about the topic at hand by holding the talking piece and speaking from their heart, while all others listen attentively and without interruption.

To begin using the talking piece, introduce its concept at the first circle or council session. Then, either provide a few types of talking pieces and invite circle members to jointly choose one to be their designated piece for the duration of their circles. OR, in contrast, provide materials and invite the group to create their talking piece together. Ask girls to share, verbally or by creative expression, the qualities or values that the decor on the talking piece represents to them. 

The Girls Circle and Boys Council models use the “council” format during parts of each session to create an environment for youth that promotes a sense of safety, respect, and non-judgment. The council format is most popularly known as a Native American tradition and involves deep speaking and listening from the heart. This format includes the “talking piece” or “talking stick” that is passed around the circle, towards one’s heart, in a clockwise fashion. 

Each person speaks with no interruptions while others focus only on the person speaking. When they are finished, the next person begins and it continues in this fashion until all people in the circle have shared. 

If a person wishes to respond to what they’ve heard or is stimulated by another participant’s sharing, the talking stick can be passed around the circle again. In this way, further sharing can occur that builds on the original foundation, fosters relationships, and:

• Brings attention to the speaker
• Offers a practical way to manage many eager voices all at once
• Reminds girls and facilitators to listen and give respect to the speaker
• Helps prevent interruptions
• Values each person’s voice and place in community
• Creates emotional and relational safety
• Provides a safe way to address sensitive topics, conflicts, and concerns 

Excerpt from the Girls Circle Facilitator Manual, Unit 2: The Girls Circle Model, Pages 29-32.