Finding Your Circle: Witnessing Strength

A circle is a universal symbol of inclusivity and belonging. Sometimes when we are new to a community, you may feel like you are out of that communal circle. It can be challenging to see where you fit in. Where do you belong? Three years ago, after a challenging personal season, I chose to leave New York City and move closer to my extended family in Connecticut. As I drove into my new town I saw the welcome signage that read “A Small City with a Big Heart”. A part of me felt like I was entering a Hallmark moment, and the New York City cynic in me audibly sighed... “Yeah right”. I asked myself “Why do we approach new circles with trepidation?” The inner cynic questioned whether or not I could fit in.

Initially, our participants attending any of One Circle Foundation’s support circles may have this feeling of hesitation or trepidation of not fitting in. It is important that we come into the circle with open minds and hearts. All of our diverse OCF models have the participants at the center of the “heart work”.  We are a small foundation with a big heart. From Girls Circle, Women’s Circle, Unity Circle, or The Council for Boys and Young Men, there are numerous opportunities to branch out with activity guides like Journey of the Great Warrior Activity Guide to our Mitigating Gender and Racial Bias Activity Guide. 

In the role of executive board member of the One Circle Foundation, I attended a Girls Circle facilitator training. Wearing a workshop participant's lens as well as an advocacy lens, I was extremely impressed and transported through the Girls Circle training. There were so many tools and great memories that I walked away with. So many of the universal themes that I witnessed and personally experienced still resonate for me today. It was great to read participants' feedback and insight from the facilitators that led the groups. A significant number of evaluation responses shared that the structure offered a safe space to feel included and a part of something larger. This is at the heart of our One Circle Foundation mission.

ARCHES

Photo Credit: https://education.nationalgeographic.org/resource/roman-aqueducts/

When I look at an arch, I spy the similar curvature and flow of a circle. Look around, you will see many arches and circles around you and I want you to make a key connection to why this is so important to our One Circle Foundation work. It is all related to the architectural strength of an arch. Did you know that the curvature of an arch is the strongest structure? The arch doesn’t fold but in fact, has springing points that curve within a slow flow. Architecturally speaking the strain or pressure of weight is equally distributed. Each stone in the arch is collectively supporting each other, similar to how the facilitators of our Girls Circle Model offer the framework for our OCF participants to receive small group support. For example, figuratively speaking, each one of our participants in the Girls Circle is just like that crafted wedge of stone or building material with its unique set of features and characteristics. However, collectively and close together, our Girls Circle Model can offer the safe space and support of sharing common experiences and questions that can guide them to a stronger level of awareness in creating expressive strategies that activate agency and personal voice.

An arch is not only a support structure for an aqueduct which holds up the waterway above ground transporting living water and life to a community, but it is also found as an instrumental part of a bridge, arched iron gate, or building entrance. All of these architectural forms are symbols and models of pathways. They offer an entry point to be transported. Our One Circle Models take our participants to new spaces that help them transcend challenging experiences or circumstances. They offer tools and creative pathways and artistic mediums that encourage participants to express themselves through role play, journaling, media, murals, poetry, drama, movement, drawing, collage, clay, visualization, and various forms of imagery work.  In fact, our participants travel to new spaces in their hearts and minds.

Arcs

Photo Credit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circular_arc

As I think of an arch, I am reminded of the beauty of a circle and the different portions within the curvature of that circle which are called arcs.  This is so similar to arches, but also very different. Arcs go around a central point. In fact, I like to think of it as if the arcs (that curved line around the circumference of the circle) dance ever so slowly in very subtle angle degree changes that reposition themselves to stay true to the center of that circle.

When I think of this, I will never see or think of a circle in the same way. What is at the center of the circle? That central point in Our Girls Circle is the power that each participant holds in their heart to speak their truth. This collective strength comes from so many stories shared among our facilitators. They have witnessed how Girls Circle offers a space where authentic voices developed and where community voices were channeled to create caring relationships. When we think about the space around a circle, otherwise known as the circumference, each of our OCF model participants serve in the same way. They are an essential portion of the circle. Together our participants make the beauty of that circle. Without them, we do not have a circle. They are needed to create a community.

Coming Full Circle: Finding Your Circle

You may wonder, did Vilma find her circle in her new town? I am grateful to share that I indeed found my circle. It took some time, but more importantly, it took some personal courage to show up and find my voice in different circles. I found a literary circle otherwise known as a book club of women that are personal friends of a family member. My cousin Yolanda invited me to attend and at first I felt so awkward (wondering like a young elementary student) if they would like me.

I laid my fears aside and showed up to the circle. We had a common lens (the book we were reading) and similar to the role of facilitators using the OCF model curriculum, the book club host would pose questions for us to ponder related to the book we read. At first, I didn’t want to seem like the eager beaver with my highlighted pages and margin notes, so I observed. I was pleasantly relieved that all of the people who came to this book club made a pledge to show up. They read the book. They made provisions in their schedules to either host or attend. They came bearing snacks (which is a must for me), and they emotionally were willing to discuss topics with a new stranger in their midst. That took courage and I am grateful for their time and personal commitment.

My time with this new circle not only gave me a space to grow, but they modeled the strength of how we can be transported through literature to discuss topics on the human condition. Each of us is very different with a host of different personal experiences, but together we offer a bridge and multiple points of entry to understanding what we have collectively read. 

Most recently, I had the great honor of hosting our book club. I chose a new author that I have followed for quite some time. I was worried that they may have not been interested in the theme of the book. But I took a risk and so we read the book Carmen and Grace by Dr. Melissa Coss Aquino. I was brave in inviting the author knowing full well that with a busy author schedule, she would not be able to attend.

Since the author is a childhood friend of my son’s godmother, I also invited a new face to our book club, my friend Rachel. I was hoping to give her a wonderful surprise. I hoped that just like my cousin brought in a new person to our book club, that I could extend the invite. I honored the group by sharing that I wanted to invite Rachel, but I never shared the true intention of surprising her and everyone in the book club. I declared my intention, set up the space, made provisions to host, and waited for a response from the author.

To my surprise the author Melissa graciously accepted! She arrived with another best-selling author (Elizabet Velasquez) as well as another upcoming writer Angelique Imani! We were so happy to spend over 3 hours together with the author and her friends. As we shared time with them in our Beach Book Club moment, the author Melissa boldly shared… “This book club is no ordinary book club!” 

My circle of book club readers smiled. It was the highest form of compliment.  Not only were we a literary circle, our collective experiences transformed us to become an empathy circle, an authentic circle, and a collective circle of empowerment.  We reached to be a part of that circle(arc) and the strength (arch) for each other. My book club has arches, arcs, and together they form a beautiful circle. When I look at the picture of us having our book talk with the author, I smiled when I saw we were sitting in a semi-circle formation.  The beauty of circles took shape. 

Find your circle.  Find your moment to support and be supported with One Circle Foundations' different models.  Let us know how it goes for you and you never know who might show up at your circle!